So I just turned a year older a month past and boy, it just felt like I flipped a whole decade of a page to another place in life. Pretty sure it’s not the addition of yet another whole year to my life that felt different, the plan is to try and age gracefully, no? But something did feel different. Maybe the realization that as we keep topping up on these years, a lot changes and more times than we’d like to admit, we also change.

So the nature of life is that one day you’re in a good, peaceful place in life and you like have stuff figured out and the very next, you are clueless. You wake up one morning and it hits you that today, your reality is no longer what you figured it to be. Your job, your friendships, family expectations, hell your own expectations, all are different. And sometimes the forces surrounding you seem stronger than that often remarkable force within you. So much so that you feel the need to change, to be a more ‘normal’ person and to look like you finally have things figured out even when it costs you your happiness, your dreams and your friendships.

So i was just Iooking back to the good old days when I was a bit younger and with very little worries. Oh how very brave I was, the world was mine to conquer. Do you ever have such memories? Of a younger  you? Who were you then? How has that transition been like for you? Are you a better person now? Or is there something you’re willing to learn all over again from yourself? Perhaps your younger self or just you now.

Not quite sure what’s the thing about growing up or growing old that makes life a job instead of just life. We’re so keen on getting it right it’s no longer fun to live. Like what happened to making that baby step and falling down and getting up to do it all over again? Where did that courage to face things and keep choosing to get up and be better and stronger disappear to?

All there is lately is a lot of people with hearts that are in pain and dreams that they no longer pursue, you know, just trying to be adults. Maybe we listened to the voices around us and beyond us for way too long we forgot what our own voice was, what it sounded like, what it meant to us and what it kept reminding us we are. Who did we sell our dreams to and at what cost? Who in the name of Santa gave these other voices so much more power than they deserve?

We’ve got to be brave, only then can we be free. We’ve got to stand for our own voice and not be compromised for cheap fame, dollars, crap friendships, toxic love and other vanities. We’ve got to embrace ourselves and value others not by word but by action. We’ve got to make our own choices and live the time of our lives every single day.

So I find that i’m not transitioning to be older, to meet certain expectations or to fit in somewhere. I’m just going back to staying my spirited young self, redefining life expectations to set standards that are my own and to pursue a life i’m excited to live. The kind of life that gets me looking forward to each day. So this year Santa, for the sake of humankind, make the beast that decided what life is and isn’t disappear. Life is only ever what you decide it to be.